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Musings, Personal Practice

The Art of Vulnerability

Today I heard myself telling someone that I had not made my own work for 10 years, only moments later I wanted to shout ‘THIS SIMPLY ISNT TRUE!’ because it isn’t! I have MADE lots of my own work over the past ten years BUT I have not exhibited it – and therein lies the difference.

10 years ago – my subject matter was exactly the same as it is today. My work is about being vulnerable. It is about being human. It is an exploration of the human condition – an exploration of MY human condition and it is truly autoethnographic in nature. We are all humans, we are all trying our best to live this thing we call life and we are all going about it with our own complicated set of issues, foibles, wonderings and interactions or reactions to and with the rest of the world.

I stopped exhibiting my own work partly because I no longer wanted to be labelled a ‘freak’. I felt like a freak – for putting the personal into the public, for daring to tell the world how I was feeling about things in my life, I felt like a freak because I didn’t see anyone else struggling to hold it all together so I decided to grow up and stop letting any of it bother me. I decided to put my practice on a shelf, make it neat and tidy and consumer friendly, all the while feeling a little bit as though I had lost my precious artistic soul somewhere along the way.

A little while back I went to the Alina Szapocznikow: Human Landscapes opening night at The Hepworth Wakefield and the show hit me right in the heart centre. As I wandered around taking it all in I saw my own oeuvre If I’d have had the courage to create it. Her work was just like mine. Explorations of the female form – of HER female form, creations made as a way of her dealing with her own tragedies, her own experiences. Creations that perhaps on first glance make no sense to the viewer but that you could very easily weave your own meanings inside of should you so choose to. As I left the exhibition I vowed to myself that I would once again become an Artist. It was who I was born to be. And now, finally – some 10 years after shelving my public practice I am back once again.

I no longer care if you think my work is strange, self-indulgent or simply senseless tripe. I am making it for me – because without it I am empty. I was born to create, I was born to take my mistakes, my misconceptions, my human-ness and transmute it all into art. It’s a beautiful thing to once again find that my own opinion is really the only one that truly matters. Obviously, I would like other people to be able to relate, I would like for other people to walk among my works and find themselves in there too – because my work is about a human life that is lived – and where there are humans there are shared experiences. I don’t doubt this for one second. However – as an artist – I am not making my work for you. I’m making it because I need to. I need my practice and my practice needs me.

This year I realised something. I truly believe that in order to find inner contentedness, or even the other thing I have often sought (or at least mused upon my confusion about) within my work  – ‘True Love’ will never find you until you are truly ready for them and the only way a person will ever be ready for these things is by becoming whole all by themselves first. You have to put the work in in order to self actualise. Life is not handed to you on a plate – you need to be the person you were born to be. And I was born to be an artist. My life is in my work and I no longer care if this is viewed as ‘odd’, it is not ‘odd’ to me. It is Art. The Art of Vulnerability and it is my exploration of being human. A glimpse into my journey of Becoming. For I am en route to becoming my best self and this body of work will document and explore that becoming.

 

24 negative patterns, behaviours or beliefs that I hold that  I feel are holding me back will be being transmuted over the next 24 months. For one month at a time I will ‘recycle’ one negative pattern, behaviour or belief that I identified as ‘getting in the way’ of me being my best self when I took part in the Hoffman Process in September of 2017 and a body of work will be created around this journey.

Pattern number one I am working with is ‘Crossing/creating boundaries’ and will be exhibited as part of the Thresholds: The Adjacent Possible exhibition in February 2018 at the Tapestry, Liverpool with the Not Just Collective.

There is also a call for Artists – do you have a connection to Liverpool? The deadline is Friday 22nd December 2017.

Artists are invited to respond to themes of borders, barriers, doorways and liminality. Work confirmed so far takes inspiration from urban development and the cultural exchange resulting from Liverpool’s role as a port. Also considered are thresholds that are less-than-tangible – social, political and spiritual – and the well-established or newly-born practices and rituals that may develop during times of transition.

Work in any media will be considered. Please email Nicola Roscoe-Calvert at NotJustCollective@gmail.com with:

  • Details of the proposed work, including medium and dimensions (where possible)
    • Images of the work, or previous work if not yet completed
    • Any other supporting information you feel may be relevant

About us:
Not Just Collective are a group of artists and creative practitioners based in, or connected to, the Liverpool area. The collective’s first exhibition was in January 2013 at Domino Gallery, Liverpool, and since then we have continued to grow, holding exhibitions in galleries and non-traditional spaces across the region, including Camp and Furnace, Arena Gallery, the Williamson Tunnels, and a terraced house in L8. The group is diverse, consisting of artists with varying levels of experience, and working in a range of disciplines. Because of this, we are held together not by common practice, but by a common aim to support and promote the development of art in Liverpool and the wider region.

www.notjustcollective.weebly.com
www.facebook.com/NotJustCollective

 

 

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Personal Practice

Reading Alan Bennett – a fellow sensitive observer of the human condition

“That was a very clever and bold move you made there”

“What was?”

“Leaving the cannon of working class writers and academics out of your bibliography…”

“Leaving the what?”

My examiners looked at me in disbelief, and then they look at each other with wide eyes and then curiously back to me again

“You mean to say the only books you have read are the ones you’ve listed in your bibliography?”

“Of course I did – you’re not allowed to leave books out are you? Isn’t that against the rules?” I asked – quite unaware of what it was they were alluding to.

The examiner from Bradford takes a piece of paper and starts writing slowly. He folds it over, hands it to me and tells me I’ve got plenty of reading to do.

“Your contemporaries” he says with a smile as I take the piece of paper.

Shamefully I now admit – I’m only just getting around to really reading from that list – some 5 years later. Life did that thing where it got in the way. I made excuses – put other things first, stopped myself from following my true passions, from being who I was born to be.

But I was always immensely proud of that masters thesis and I’ve put a snippet of it here for anyone who wants a listen – it’s called The I AM story – and the rest of the thesis will be uploaded once I move house and find my hard drive. It was very well recieved, I had several pieces of it published and I even presented parts of it at a conference for social change in Vienna!

My own work had ALWAYS been about the human condition – I just didn’t quite know what exactly it was that that mean even though I was told often that this is what I do – and what I do incredibly well.

But recently I found that list, I’m currently reading Alan Bennett and I’m head over heels in love. I’ve found my ouvre, I’ve found my place in the world – in the book I am reading Alan Bennett calls himself a “sensitive observer of the human condition” – I finally understand who it is that I am and what it is that I do.

Thank the universe for mine and others ability to read, for mine and others ability to write AND for mine and others abilities to understand our place in and the world that lives all around us.

The I AM STORY

Personal Practice

Body casting blasts from the past…

In 2008 I finished my fine art degree. That year I cast 6 female bodies – one of which was my own.

“Hold your body in the way you feel the best and the way you feel the worst” – the two sides of the body cast on separate occasions and then a new body formed out of a blend of the two.

The piece was called An Intimate Distance – a nod to Rosemary Betterton’s seminal text.

It was displayed at leeds university, leeds library and then the Saltaire arts trail. Then it went into storage followed a few years later by my own practice.

Seems fitting then that on the 10 year anniversary I will not only resume my own practice but also recreate the piece – asking the same women to be cast but this time hoping the postures will be different.

I myself no longer have the body, mind or soul hang ups I had 10 years ago – and coming face to face with my own plaster casted body today while having a meeting at The Artworks in Halifax (where I studied for my masters and where a couple of my casts have lived for the past several years) I smiled to myself. The body next to my cast is now probably bigger, more droopy, definitely aged further – but MAN am I happier inside it now!!!

The return to An Intimate Distance and the original will be exhibited side by side it is hoped some time next year and it was lovely to meet myself once again and to be able to really see the transformations that have occurred within myself over the past 10 years.

Art education

Children get stressed out too – Mindful Art Making – might just make it better.

When I was 10 years old – My grandfather – a VERY talented Artist and Signwriter died. His death affected me a great deal and the impact it had upon me was discussed at length in my Master of Arts thesis (An auto ethnographic narrative inquiry into my lifetime engagement with Art Education and the effect and impact it had upon my life).

At 10 years old, the stress of losing my grandfather, of facing my own and the mortality of others for the very first time made me seriously contemplate suicide. At ten years old – I actually had thoughts about ending my life. Now – obviously I am not the only person on the planet for whom an event such as this has occurred and I do not hesitate for a MOMENT to say that obviously there are people out there who have had far greater ordeals and losses to deal with at an even younger age – but that said – the stress of losing someone so close to me, someone who I had seen every day of my life, who used to draw horses and unicorns on demand, who used to bring us all peppermint cream bars home from his trips down Scotty Road every Sunday and who inspired me to become an artist – well – it had a big impact upon me to say the least and the impact was not a particularly good one.

However, being someone who always looks for the silver lining in the cloud – being an adult who had that experience as a child – means – that I can empathise somewhat with the struggles and strains that some children have to deal with – alongside being students at school. And having had that experience – probably also led me to become interested in the things I am interested in – I don’t doubt for a second the reason I’m an artist is because of losing my grandfather and wanting to emulate him in some way… perhaps now my teaching of yoga, meditation and mindfulness is also linked to having had that experience as a child. Because what if my experience was different? What if I had learned about all of these things before that event had occurred? Would I have been more resilient? Would my neural pathways have been stronger – would I have been better able to cope with the grief, the loss and the stress?

 

Yoga, Pranayama, Meditation and Mindfulness practices – when eating, interacting with students, making my art work, living my life –  are practices that have helped GREATLY to make my life far more amazing – WHEN they are practiced REGULARLY. The impact these things have on – my ability to manage stress, my mental/physical and spiritual health and on my general every day outlook on life is immense and I only WISH I’d had the opportunity to learn about these things at an earlier age. I’m almost certain that had these practices been a part of my life before the age of 10 – would I have been able to have coped with life and its sometimes macabre realities in a better way?

So, after completing my 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training course this summer in India – I have decided to ‘Revamp’ my offer to schools.

Mindful Art Making is here! 

For I am bringing a bit of my newly found Zen into the classroom and I’m about to go and complete the Kidding Around Yoga Course – teaching Yoga to children! WOOHOO

No longer will we ‘just’ make Art –  we will now also do some movement, some meditation and then we will MAKE OUR ART MINDFULLY and we will ALL learn some new and beautiful coping mechanisms to make us stronger as we battle through this thing we call life!

Get ready 2018 – Jennyanne Arts is back and she is bringing Zennyanne Creates with her!

As I currently train artists to work with children and families – why not get me to train your teachers to teach MINDFUL MAKING and Yoga too! OOOOOh now THERE is an idea! 😉 

NAMASTE/NAMASCRAY dudes!!!! WATCH THIS SPACE!

Screen Shot 2017-10-29 at 20.07.58

David Sharkey – Liverpools Three Graces – Oil on Board – probably done in the 1940’s… I’m not entirely sure! :S

 

jennyannejas@gmail.com      07793020000      www.jennyanne.co.uk

 

Uncategorized

Creativity is making mitsakes – Art is knowing which ones to keep!

“If you don’t have a go you’ll never know” – wisdom from Terence.

Several weeks ago I went to the Grove Inn to see some live music and serendipity allowed me to meet a fabulous white bearded man named Terence. After we introduced ourselves I told him that Terence was a noble name indeed for it was the name of the first freed black slave who was a prince – or so my dad always tells me – as he too is named as Terence.

And we talked. He told me of his life and his careers, how serendipity brought him across the moors all those years ago when he had a car crash and subsequently fell in love and I told him of mine.

NO NATURAL “ARTISTIC” talent I’d said, struggle I did in the beginning – but that was why I knew was actually a pretty great teacher I explained.

Because I’ve been able to tell people that practice really does make perfect. That it is more than OK to make mistakes, it’s how we learn, and art is FUN even if the outcome doesn’t look amazing you know!

The PROCESS itself is worth while!

Then he said – “if you don’t have a go you’ll never know”

“EXACTLY” I exclaimed – many people are so scared to make a mistake they don’t try and they miss out on so much joy and fun!

And I realised – thats all I am doing in my life! I’m being bold and I’m having a go…

And sometimes I screw up REALLY BADLY but sometimes I don’t – either way however – I learn. And I keep going and generally – I enjoy myself!

It’s a long road is life – and my talent is all about telling people they are allowed and SHOULD have a go and not care too much about their mistakes, that they should forgive themselves and move onwards.

JUST LIKE I DO – FOR I am human – I am not perfect and I don’t need to be. I just need to keep having a go. Because it’s OK to be human… It’s OK to keep making mistakes and it’s OK to be sad… It’s OK to chase your dreams and it’s OK to lose them sometimes… It’s life. Life’s tough.

It’s OK to follow your heart and it’s OK to ignore your head sometimes. And if that leads you to a brick wall – then that leads you to a brick wall.

But you just got to pick yourself up every morning and try your best to be concious. Try your best not to mess it all up. Try your best not to make mistakes. Find they joy and the beauty as best you can and keep on trucking.

We are human and to be human is to err.

We don’t make mistakes on purpose. We don’t hurt people on purpose. We’re all just trying to do our best.

I’m all about shouting from the rooftops it is OK to be crap sometimes – in pointing out that it’s the MAKING that is important – that should be the fun part! And if what you make is a piece of rubbish – stick it in the bin and forget about it… But I guarantee you will learn.. And eventually – man you will make something beautiful I swear it!

Terence asked me what brought me over from Liverpool and I told him that it was Art. He was a BEAUTIFUL interesting RADIENT human being and I was thrilled to meet him. I learned about so many things and people that I want to look further into – we discussed serendipity, politics, music, influential writers and poets, careers, our parents… It was a fabulous chat and at the end of it he told me that there are not many people like me around… And I took that as a great compliment – though I’m not 100% certain what he meant! Hahaha. But I enjoyed listening to him and I realised perhaps that’s another talent of mine – HEARING people, connecting with people and genuinely ENJOYING people and admiring them EXACTLY as they are. Sharing our stories… Learning together and having the courage to be authentic in a sometimes Inauthentic world.